Simply Felicious

Listening to: King of Sorrow - Sade

Sade rawks.

Want a cure for PMS? Compile a list of your favourite most-hated celebrity characters, google them and scroll to enjoy. Here is one character that I abhore:

David Caruso who plays Horatio Crane the smart-ass one-liner detective from CSI:Miami. Seriously, this guy wears his sunglasses and stands at an angle while he delivers the stupidest one-liners you’ve EVER heard! Some of them include:
- "Sometimes you eat the ham and sometimes the ham eats you(!!!)"
- He often says to Alexx, his pathologist as he stands besides a corpse, "And what, do we have here?" D’OH it’s a dead person Sherlock!

OMG this man never fails to KILL ME, on a bad day I cannot sit through a whole episode of CSI: Miami mainly because of him. Don”t even get me started on the plots itself, their investigators discover distinct evidence that inevitably crack the case wide open by finding things that no other human person could possibly find. Example: last week, one of them found a contact lense, a clear opaque contact lense, ON THE MAT of a car involved in a crime scene! If you’re the kind of person who’s ever lost a contact lense you know better than anyone how hard it is to just randomly FIND ONE especially if it’s just lying on some random surface!

To sweeten things further, I found a YouTube link with seven minutes of Horatio’s famous one-liners. You HAVE to check this out, for a good laugh if nothing else. Note how he almost always puts on his sunglasses before he delivers the corny line and it cuts to the theme song.

The magic URL: David Caruso’s famous one-liners
Failing which, typing in ‘Caruso one-liners’ as keywords would give you the link. Highly recommendable especially if he annoys you as much as he does me. For the record, the original CSI kicks CSI:Miami’s ass but I know there are a few who would disagree =) You cannot deny the fact however that Grissom is WAY cooler.

Moving on.
And my most despised character of ALL TIME…..

Kristin Kreuk who plays the INCORRIGIBLE Lana Lang on Smallville. Anyone who knows me well enough knows how much I despise the sugar-coated fake damsel-in-distress character who is the love interest to Clark Kent, the teenage soon-to-be Superman in Smallville. It started of as jealousy, I mean, Tom Welling is a chunk of hunk and even in those dawg-awful checkered shirts of his, he looks awesome. And admittedly, a guy who can fly eventually takes the cake. But even as characters go, there is none that is as idolised for no reason as Lana is. 

She is obviously perfect in every physical way, in one season she even gets her own magical powers or whatever and she is inevitably the object of desire and admiration for almost every male adult and boy on the show (and sometimes female). However for someone so smart she never seems to realise that Clark materialises everywhere there seems to be danger - to her he’s just a guy who wants to get in her pants but refuses to share all his secrets with. HELLO? AND WHERE DOES HER PROBLEM LIE AGAIN??

Okay, I promised I wouldn’t get emotional.

Despite the fact that Lana always claims she wants to be able to take care of herself, Clark inevitably always ends up saving her and when he’s all Superman-like throwing people against walls with superhuman strength and setting them on fire with his eyes or whatever, she is always knocked out. HELLO - most people would be dead with the amount of concussions she has had. But no, she lives to go on taunting Clark with her perfect beauty and charm - or whatever.

I think my annoyance with her character lies mostly in Clark’s stupidity. Chloe, the faithful sidekick who protects Clark’s secret and is obviously besotted with him but always gets pushed aside for Lana Lang who once proclaimed "she wouldn’t feel comfortable with an alien." Honestly Clark, for all your strength, it would help if you were less dense.

I read an essay that pretty much took all the words out my mouth and if you’re interested, go here. It’s basically in-depth but I just needed to rant. What are blogs for, ei?

Hope you’re feeling better Cheryl…check out the YouTube link, will make you feel loads better hehe.. and I apologise to all the people I spread my flu to, I honestly did not mean it.

Till I see you all again - this one is for Bryan who told me to be a good girl and ‘blog something’. =D

Adios.

This entry was posted on Sunday, January 14th, 2007 at 8:37 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.